Ha, steroids. Who the hell takes steroids? Turns out, pretty much everyone in jiujitsu, haha (tear emoji.) It's time to join them with the patented Unathletic Steroids Protein Shaker & Water Bottle.
Sip from this from the sidelines after you've wristlocked a brand new white belt.
Take a gulp and wink at your training partner after you've just tapped out to top pressure.
Don't forget to check the ingredient list - there is some powerful imaginary stuff in here so be prepared to go turbo mode at the gym and don't be surprised if you start smashing everyone including the instructor and even the guy in the car park outside for no reason whatsoever.
Jokes aside, this protein shaker is LEGIT AF and has a shit-load of compartments that I can't even keep track of, perfect for keeping all your dodgy pills and powders in. Or if you're Unathletic like me, just a bit of tasty chocolate protein powder that is literally just a nice tasty placebo treat after trying my best not to tap out to young, athletic purple belts.